Explain to me the plot of Tron, and you can live

29 Jul

Tron...a movie about...something...

Tron...a movie about...something...

Remember Tron? That movie with the bikes and bad suits outlined with day-glo paint?  The movie the forthcoming sequel, Tron Legacy, is based upon?  Yea, me neither, but Yuppies love to talk about how awesome obscure 80s movies were.  I bet that if I asked a Yuppie about Tron, they’d tell me they love it.  Then they’d start talking about light cycles (honestly, what else do you know about the movie?).  So I’d put a gun to their temple, and scream at them to tell me the plot, just tell me the basic plot and the name of 1 major character, if you love the movie so much it shouldn’t be that hard, c’mon tell me or so help me I will blow your brains out.  At least that’s what I’ll want to do while I listen to the joker gush about it.  Why do Yuppie’s love it?  Because it’s so obscure, out of the mainstream, that even they, who profess to like it, can’t possibly tell you what it’s about.  Tron hits several major benchmark for Yuppie approval–it’s kinda obscure, faded from the public consciousness and wasn’t really that great.  Sure, Yuppies love the idea of the movie.  But honestly, who wants to sit down and take 90 minutes out of their day to watch people in outdated conceptions of “futuristic” outfits, technology and visual FX?  Let’s be honest, if there was really some merit to the movie, it would be on AMC (speaking of which, anyone know when Rambo is gonna be on again?), mentioned in the same breath as Alien and Blade Runner (can’t hold those movies jockstraps), or solicit anything but puzzled glances and laughter from most people born after 1982.

The only thing people remember from this movie, if they even saw it

The only thing people remember from this movie, if they even saw it

Instead, Tron finds its way onto ironic T-shirts and Family Guy cutaways–that should be all you need to scare you off!  It’s a New York Times feature away from being a Yuppie wet dream!  I hope that the people who go to see this new take understand that Tron Legacy is going to be like the original in concept alone.  And that’s for the best.  It should be pretty entertaining though, especially since Daft Punk will be scoring the film.  The trailer premiered at Comic-Con (that’s another matter completely, one we don’t have time to get into here) but somewhere along the way somebody discovered that it syncs up beautifully with MJ’s Beat It.  Anyway, since this Michael Jackson thing won’t go away, I figured I’d kill two birds with one stone.  Yuppies beware–this just might be too much for you to handle.


One Response to “Explain to me the plot of Tron, and you can live”

  1. Noel December 15, 2009 at 12:17 AM #

    I think the whole point is, there are no Yuppies in 200x. We live in the 21st century baby, Yuppies are soo late 20th century. Go on!

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